Nick’s Blog

As most of you know I now reside in Aiken South Carolina. It’s right near the Georgia/South Carolina border just north of Augusta. As I think I indicated to some of you, I was a bit concerned about moving here given how lonely and isolated I felt during my month and a half long visit last summer. However, as my boss here is really nice and the job directly related to herpetology (I’m already assigned to a project involving crocodile genetics), it was an opportunity I knew I shouldn’t pass up.

So what does this have to do with “Crazy Southern Rednecks?” Well on Thursday night I was invited to a birthday party for a friend in the lab. Another lab-mate of mine (Chris) has a house out in the sticks with a lot of space and a place to build a bonfire. He offered to host the party. As I’d only been to Chris’s house once before and had gotten a ride there, I needed to get directions in order to find it again. This proved more than a little complicated as I was also moving to my new apartment (one bedroom = $380 a month!!!!) and trying to take a job related class. As a result I never ended up getting a printout of the directions to Chris’s place. However, as I’d visited it last summer and I’d gotten some verbal instructions, I was confident that I could find my way.

As it turned out I did really well, at least until the last turn where instead of going right at the intersection I went straight. Chris’s driveway was supposed to be the first right after this intersection so I turned down the first driveway on the right. At this point I should mention that it was ~ 6:30 pm and relatively dark. Dusk had certainly fallen. I followed the driveway about 50 yards into the woods until I could see a ratty white plastic chair in the glow of my headlights. I could see the lights of a house off to the right and I correctly concluded that the chair was placed there to indicate that one should turn right. Following the drive, which was becoming increasingly bumpy, I drove along the side of a field and and then back into the woods. This field, by the way, had been mentioned in Chris’s verbal instructions so I was pretty confident I was on the right path. However, when I saw the house I immediately became concerned.

“Wasn’t Chris’s house brown?” I wondered.

“And, that pickup also doesn’t look like his truck” I also thought.

“Oh @#$%!!” I practically exclaimed, “That dude coming out the door is definitely NOT Chris”… And, “that lady by the steps looks too old and fat to be his roommate Kimberley!”

I also noticed a large cage of howling rottweilers off to my left. Chris, does not own any rottweilers. If you can envision a set from “Deliverance” you probably have a pretty good picture of the the yard I’d just driven up to. Yup, I’d definitely made a wrong turn. Luckily, the driveway had expanded and there was plenty of room to pull a quick U turn. I threw my Honda Civic, with its bright green Vermont license plates and newly acquired Darwin-fish bumper sticker, into second gear and flew back down the driveway. Although I had to concentrate on driving, I did not fail observe that a vehicle was now following me. I proceeded back to the intersection and picked up my cell phone.. “Wow! Three bars. That Verizon service is really pretty good”… and called Chris. I proceeded through the intersection and Chris and I had a brief discussion. We quickly concluded that I should not have gone straight thorough the stop sign. As there was plenty of room at the next stop sign, and only the one vehicle behind me, I pulled another U turn. As I drove past this car… “Oh, that is actually a pretty big pickup!”…. I looked up into the truck’s window. I couldn’t see much of the man’s face, though I now feel he bore a striking resemblance to Boo Radley, because it was mostly obscured by the barrel of what I can only conclude was a large revolver.

“@#&*!”, I shouted into the phone, “That guy just pulled a gun on me!”

I banged a right a the next stop sign, actually I’m pretty sure I ran it, with the pickup following close behind. I continued down the road with the pickup riding my bumper and flashing its lights. This continued for about 3 miles until he finally slowed down and turned around. Once his taillights had disappeared into the dusk I pulled a third and final U turn, and with the help of Chris’s instructions, made it to the party.

Yup, I’ve only been in South Carolina for a week and I’ve already had a gun drawn on me and been involved in car chase. Good times… good times….