Nick’s Blog

So there is actually a part two or maybe more accurately a corollary story to my original “Crazy Southern Rednecks” email. Yup, there is a whole other tale I did not reveal in the first note. Here is how it goes…

Remember how I was on the phone with my friend Chris when the good ol’ boy pulled the gun? Well, as soon I told Chris what was going on he said something like,

“Oh yeah, he pulled one on Lesley last week!”
“Lesley?” I asked.
“Kimberley’s friend, you haven’t met her…. Do you have a pad and a pen?”
“Like something to write on?”
“Yeah, Lesley said he was a deaf mute!”

As I was not planning on talking to banjo boy all grown up, I did not feel this advice applied to me. Anyway, once I got to Chris’s house I heard the rest of the story.

Essentially, Kimberley’s friend Lesley came to visit the week before and made the same wrong turn down the same dingy drive way that I did. However, she was not as lucky as myself and the guy blocked her in before she could leave. According to Chris she was not sure if he threatened her with gun as his hand was hidden, but she did indicate that he required a pen and pencil to communicate. She said he scrawled something like ‘what yah doin?’ and she wrote back ‘I’m lost.’ Apparently he was belligerent and would not let her leave for 45 minutes.

I have not actually met Lesley yet so the authenticity of this story is perhaps a bit in doubt. However, I will do my best to interview the girl and report back.

Soooo tempted… But, I’m going to wait until Bonnaroo announces their lineup on February 14th.

Friday: April 27th
Bjork, Interpol, the Jesus and Mary Chain, Arctic Monkeys, Jarvis Cocker, Sonic Youth, Faithless, DJ Shadow, Peeping Tom, Brazilian Girls, Peaches, Felix Da Housecat, Rufus Wainwright, Stephen Marley featuring Jr. Gong, Nickel Creek, Digitalism, Tokyo Police Club, Comedians of Comedy, El-P, Julieta Venegas, Gogol Bordello, Circa Survive, Silversun Pickups, Gillian Welch, Benny Benassi, and Tilly & the Wall

Saturday: April 28th
Red Hot Chili Peppers, The Arcade Fire, DJ Tiesto, The Decemberists, The Good, The Bad and The Queen, Travis, Kings Of Leon, Gotan Project, The Rapture, LCD Soundsystem, Blonde Redhead, The New Pornographers, The Black Keys, Regina Spektor, !!!, Hot Chip, MSTRKRFT, Ozomatli, Ghostface Killah, Fountains of Wayne, Jack’s Mannequin, Peter, Bjorn John, VNV Nation, Sparklehorse, The Nightwatchman, Roky Erikson, The Explosives, Cornelius, CocoRosie, Andrew Bird, The Frames, The Fratellis, Justice, Pharoahe Monch, Fields, The Cribs, Girl Talk, Mike Relm, DJ Heather, Pop Levi, and Yeva

Sunday: April 29th
Rage Against The Machine, Manu Chao Radio Bemba Sound System, Air, Happy Mondays, Paul van Dyk, Willie Nelson, The Roots, Crowded House, Kaiser Chiefs, Damien Rice, Placebo, Explosions in the Sky, Konono No1, Richie Hawtin, Soul Wax Nite Versions, Infected Mushroom, Lily Allen, Amos Lee, Jose Gonzalez, Spank Rock, Rodrigo Y Gabriela, Against Me!, Ratatat, Junior Boys, The Feeling, The Kooks, CSS, Klaxons, Tapes & Tapes, Lupe Fiasco, Mando Diao, Teddybears, Grizzly Bear, Mika, the Coup, The Avett Bros., Anathallo, and Fair to Midland

I came across this really nice post by Razib on his Gene Expression blog. It’s a quick and dirty review of all those population genetics equations I’ve started to forget, or in some instances, never properly understood in the first place!

As most of you know I now reside in Aiken South Carolina. It’s right near the Georgia/South Carolina border just north of Augusta. As I think I indicated to some of you, I was a bit concerned about moving here given how lonely and isolated I felt during my month and a half long visit last summer. However, as my boss here is really nice and the job directly related to herpetology (I’m already assigned to a project involving crocodile genetics), it was an opportunity I knew I shouldn’t pass up.

So what does this have to do with “Crazy Southern Rednecks?” Well on Thursday night I was invited to a birthday party for a friend in the lab. Another lab-mate of mine (Chris) has a house out in the sticks with a lot of space and a place to build a bonfire. He offered to host the party. As I’d only been to Chris’s house once before and had gotten a ride there, I needed to get directions in order to find it again. This proved more than a little complicated as I was also moving to my new apartment (one bedroom = $380 a month!!!!) and trying to take a job related class. As a result I never ended up getting a printout of the directions to Chris’s place. However, as I’d visited it last summer and I’d gotten some verbal instructions, I was confident that I could find my way.

As it turned out I did really well, at least until the last turn where instead of going right at the intersection I went straight. Chris’s driveway was supposed to be the first right after this intersection so I turned down the first driveway on the right. At this point I should mention that it was ~ 6:30 pm and relatively dark. Dusk had certainly fallen. I followed the driveway about 50 yards into the woods until I could see a ratty white plastic chair in the glow of my headlights. I could see the lights of a house off to the right and I correctly concluded that the chair was placed there to indicate that one should turn right. Following the drive, which was becoming increasingly bumpy, I drove along the side of a field and and then back into the woods. This field, by the way, had been mentioned in Chris’s verbal instructions so I was pretty confident I was on the right path. However, when I saw the house I immediately became concerned.

“Wasn’t Chris’s house brown?” I wondered.

“And, that pickup also doesn’t look like his truck” I also thought.

“Oh @#$%!!” I practically exclaimed, “That dude coming out the door is definitely NOT Chris”… And, “that lady by the steps looks too old and fat to be his roommate Kimberley!”

I also noticed a large cage of howling rottweilers off to my left. Chris, does not own any rottweilers. If you can envision a set from “Deliverance” you probably have a pretty good picture of the the yard I’d just driven up to. Yup, I’d definitely made a wrong turn. Luckily, the driveway had expanded and there was plenty of room to pull a quick U turn. I threw my Honda Civic, with its bright green Vermont license plates and newly acquired Darwin-fish bumper sticker, into second gear and flew back down the driveway. Although I had to concentrate on driving, I did not fail observe that a vehicle was now following me. I proceeded back to the intersection and picked up my cell phone.. “Wow! Three bars. That Verizon service is really pretty good”… and called Chris. I proceeded through the intersection and Chris and I had a brief discussion. We quickly concluded that I should not have gone straight thorough the stop sign. As there was plenty of room at the next stop sign, and only the one vehicle behind me, I pulled another U turn. As I drove past this car… “Oh, that is actually a pretty big pickup!”…. I looked up into the truck’s window. I couldn’t see much of the man’s face, though I now feel he bore a striking resemblance to Boo Radley, because it was mostly obscured by the barrel of what I can only conclude was a large revolver.

“@#&*!”, I shouted into the phone, “That guy just pulled a gun on me!”

I banged a right a the next stop sign, actually I’m pretty sure I ran it, with the pickup following close behind. I continued down the road with the pickup riding my bumper and flashing its lights. This continued for about 3 miles until he finally slowed down and turned around. Once his taillights had disappeared into the dusk I pulled a third and final U turn, and with the help of Chris’s instructions, made it to the party.

Yup, I’ve only been in South Carolina for a week and I’ve already had a gun drawn on me and been involved in car chase. Good times… good times….